While I sympathise with this struggle, as a 5'5 guy I don't feel like I've suffered from this all that much.

Certainly the shift to remote work and remote interviews has helped though.

Same height/experience, though as someone in my mid 40s I feel like society has gotten worse about it, possibly because younger people are that much taller now. But for instance I was promoted to management in my early 30s.

I’ve mostly been remote for the past decade so it’s hard to quantify what things would be like now.

While this is true to an extent, remember (as with most victim complexes) that it very quickly becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Right. The issue is more of first impressions... generally speaking, on a day to day basis, yeah, you feel it. This is going to be much more of an issue for someone for instance in sales.

Around people you spend time around it's pretty easy to lance that perception if you carry yourself w/ confidence, make good eye contact, say smart things, etc.

I'm tall but some of the best people in my life have been short. I do remember one boy in school who was short and I think his combative nature was a result of how others treated him and his interpretation of that. He had a hard time.

My shoulder doctor is short but a godsend for diagnosing and fixing my shoulders worn out from bad swimming habits.

I don't quite get the "physical fitness" thing b/c someone who is short can be in excellent shape. On measures of sheer mass and strength such as football, bench press or reach (e.g., basketball) perhaps they don't score as high. But for example, the short guys can usually run your ass off, come back and laugh at you while you can barely breathe. So there are sports where they excel.

We had a short guy in high school who could play basketball like Bob Cousy: he could beat the opposing team almost by himself! He was unbelievable. But his dad wanted him to help run his service station so we just had him for a few games.

Honestly, it seems that men get more of their problems from social aspects of their fathers than they do from their physical aspects (e.g.,physique).

When you're short, perhaps you should get into sailing: You can buy a much cheaper boat! When you're 190+cm (~6'3"+) most boats under 33 feet or so will not have enough headroom. At the same time, longer boats get exponentially more expensive.

Physical size and mass are helpful to keep the boat upright in strong winds. Just need to duck a bit more to not get hit by the boom.

I never thought of sailing as the perfect hobby for short people, except in boring weather conditions.

Maybe headroom for sleeping, not actually sailing as a sport?

I was thinking about keel yachts where you want to stand in the galley while cooking for example.

Are you in a manager position? Honest question.

> When you're short, perhaps you should get into sailing

What if you're only short on some weekdays; do you time-share a boat?

As a short person, it is a small disadvantage but not impossible to overcome with significant force of personality and fitness. As disgusting as it is, it is not unreasonable to look at yourself compensating in this way and realising that everyone has something to fix. Very few people are born perfect, and even if they are that doesn't help you get where you want to be.

> not impossible to overcome with significant force of personality and fitness

Definitely, but you're hand waving how hard that is (not that I would know, being a tall white person like OP). It's like saying "just be funny."

I'm not hand waving it, I literally did it. It is not easy but also not some terrifying abyss. I think in such scenarios it doesn't help people to present this as a really big problem, they are helped with the reality: It is something to do if you want to do it. If you do want to, you can. It doesn't require a significant lifestyle change, just regular exercise time (even once a week makes a big difference in most people). It's effort and it's not fair, but it is eminently available to almost everyone.

Edit: I'm sorry, I glossed over the "force of personality" part. This might take you a few years to get right, but since it boils down to "be more assertive" the only way to get better is to consciously work at doing it. It is the same as building any other habit.

Well either you overcome it or you don't. Focusing on how hard it is doesn't move the needle. Even getting people to acknowledge your struggle does nothing.

Pointing it out / getting people to acknowledge it actually does the opposite: Folks will focus on your perceived shortcoming more and most of them won't turn that into constructive change. In effect you're just making it worse.

Agree, I have been in the industry for long enough to see that they are discriminated against. One thing which can counter the effect of height is humour - people who are funny and extrovert can get over this to a large extent (I guess this goes not only for professional relationships but personal ones too).

a lot of short people at the top, you just gotta be more assertive where as for tall guys, people give a little bit of deference automatically.

I wouldn't say no one thinks about this issue, but I agree its typically dismissed as not serious.

I think society thinks its important to socialize men in particular to "listen to authority without complaining" and this not-so-subtly tells certain men that if people don't treat you with respect then its your problem, not theirs.

One thing I hate about the contemporary American political landscape is that its all in on the false dichotomy between personal responsibility and a well conceived society. Both things can coexist and in fact require one another.

In fact, even though republicans love to talk about "personal responsibility," in a free market it is one of the least required things: the market tells you what to do with yourself on pain of penury. Its really in a society where conventions like social welfware can be abused where people's personal responsibility, character and civic virtues really matter.

> the market tells you what to do with yourself on pain of penury

The market isnt some ethereal thing that magically coerces people to do things. The market is made up of other people, all of whom are also exercising their personal responsibility to look after their self interests. Game theory is the best way to look at this.

Incredible that the same thing could be said with lots of perceived "inequality" but in such case "systemic forces" are the cause and personal responsibility is to be avoided.