Other than taking enough physics to get a EE degree, I don't know physics. One explanation I've heard from a physicist appeals to me. He said something like:
All the confusion about wave/particle duality is because we explain physics in terms of intuitions we have in our daily lives. Sometimes the analogy that is most convenient is to use a wave metaphor, and sometimes the best analogy is to use a particle metaphor ... but in both cases it is neither particle nor wave.
When I think of wave-particle duality, I think its just the expression of 2 facts. Matter waves show interference effects. Matter waves are only ever observed in a definite position, never in a superposition.
But position isnt special right? We never observe a superposition of momentum (move at 2 speeds) either. And neither are macroscopic states, we never observed an (1/sqrt(2))(alive + dead) cat either.
So evolution isn't observation and intermediate states aren't real.
My gut says though, that the main problem is probably thinking it is ever possible to be outside the experiment.