I thought this, too, until I had kids. I tried this... they didn't eat, then couldn't fall asleep because they were hungry, so stayed up all night crying because they were hungry. Tried again, they took a few bites then threw it all up.

Maybe they would have broken after a few more days of starvation, but I didn't have it in me to do it.

What were you trying to feed your kids that they wouldn’t eat anything at all for days? I let my son choose breakfast and lunch, within reason. And then mommy and I choose dinner. If he doesn’t like dinner he can have some fruit or sometimes he makes a pb&j if he is hungrier. If he eats dinner we made, he can have a treat. No dinner, no treat. There is no fight or arguing, that’s just the established rules now and he is aware of them.

I didn't make it multiple days, and it wasn't just a single food she wouldn't eat.. it was multiple options, but she refused them all.

We have gotten to a better place now. She still will rarely eat what we eat (unless it is on one of her 3-4 meals that she will eat), but there are some healthy (enough) staples that she will eat when we eat our meal... strangely, she likes plain, uncooked, beans from a can with plain rice. She eats berries, and likes to eat plain, uncooked, spinach. She is also more open to trying new foods now, although she almost always dislikes them; our only ask of her is that she at least tries something before refusing it. If it was up to her, she would eat nothing but pizza or chicken nuggets for dinner.

She is 6, and it is an ongoing process to get her to eat more things. She complains that most food is too 'spicy', even if it isn't spicy at all. I don't think there is some magic cure that would make her eat a wider variety of foods. Her grandfather is similar, he only eats the most bland food possible.

Saying either he can eat what we eat or have a safe alternative sounds like the exact opposite of eat or go hungry that the thread is about. Your dinner time routine sounds very reasonable. I'm a new parent and our methods are growing into something similar.

>You can make your kids not picky by putting a plate in front of them and providing the choice of either eating it or going to bed hungry. Kids aren't born only wanting to eat chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese.

Yep. I never understood the whole "my kids won't eat $x" thing.

When I was a kid, i ate what was given to me (which was the same as everyone else got) or I didn't eat.

And not because we were poor and couldn't afford to indulge me either. We were a family and ate the same food together. There was never any discussion or expectation of anything different.

It's not as easy as "going to bed hungry". It requires work by parents to provide a positive environment when it comes to food - never giving certain foods a stigma, not putting pressure on them to "eat their vegetables", never reminding them what they like or don't like, always making meals positive, letting them choose what to eat, etc.. The concept is, I believe, called "baby-led weaning"; my wife discovered it and both of our kids are phenomenal eaters as a result.

But yeah, it's absolutely not as simple or easy as, "Well, if ya don't eat you'll be hungry" - because congratulations, now they will carry that hatred towards that food with them and it'll come out the next time you serve it to them. And even then, if they're not picky, cooking still takes time because there's a kid running around who often doesn't give a shit about the fact that you have to tend to whatever's cooking at the moment, or they're too little so you need to modify your food prep in order to eliminate/reduce choking hazards.

While your suggestions about how to treat food as to not create issues down the road are correct, I still think you are attributing too much power to parents. Everyone wants to believe that if you just do these certain things, then your kids will turn out a certain way. That just isn't true; while a parent can help shift some things, a lot of things are just about how a particular kid is. Some kids are just more picky than others, no matter what parenting techniques you use.

I never said that any kind of parenting method is guaranteed to achieve the results you want. My kids still aren't into certain foods and won't eat them, but it's not like they actively hate those foods, and I'm not setting thems up for avoiding those foods entirely in the future. It's a general concept that I am sure we will find ourselves employing throughout their lives, even as adults - build and maintain a strong foundation upon which they can grow on their terms.

The crux of my point was to highlight that parenting is never as simplistic as the previous comment ("All ya have to do is tell them to eat or go hungry!") may have made it sound, not to suggest that you can mold your children exactly as you would like.

Edit: And your point about some kids being pickier than others is actually exactly my point. That's why I said it's not easy - it has taken a lot of time and patience for us to get our children to this point. I've heard stories of parents struggling for over a year or more to get a kid to break certain eating habits. It's not just picky eating, though - correcting various aspects of a child's personality requires a LOT of time and attention, often over the course of years. That's why I took an issue with OP brushing it off so casually.

Best method that works until they are 7: make up an imaginary friend (like a fairy, gnome, etc) that visits you once a year and brings you toys IF you eat the being's favorite foods, which happen to coincide with what the child detests

Works. 100% guaranteed. They will eat everything with a smile

In my case, I use the Tio de Nadal, which makes for a fun time when he visits (Kids have to hit the Tio with a stick and sing songs, then he shits sweets and toys)

This is the way. I also gave them the extra option to eat fruit instead of what I made. Also works wonders in the morning when he gets dressed slowly. “Oh you aren’t ready,bummer, looks like we are going to school in your pj’s”. Only needs to happen once and they get ready real quick.