One runs a high risk swearing in the presence of a superior with an unknown stance on swearing. This causes less exploratory swearing. Do not mistake caution with respect.
A superior poses higher risk than a peer or junior. Someone can negatively react to swearing in a couple ways:
1) Deal with it directly, by talking.
2) Deal with it indirectly, by leveraging resources to harm the offending party.
A peer/junior has less destructive potential when taking option #2. As a consequence of this, people swear less around superiors than peers/juniors.
A company I interned for had an employee who allegedly dropped an F-Bomb or two during his interview. His nickname was F-Bomb. No joke.
When someone chooses to swear for emphasis or for the shock value, he is not trying to win over the people who might be offended, or who might take it as a sign of disrespect. He is trying to win over the people who buy into his personality, in spite of the people who may be offended. The whole reason he's saying "fuck" is because it will offend some people.
F-Bomb probably didn't want to work for a boss who would be offended at someone saying "fuck". Who would?
Saying "fuck" instead of something else is a cop out. It's so easy to apply this general, emotional term, and much harder to express what you actually mean. I've taken to, after I say the word, to try and think of a better way to express myself. Rarely was it the best word choice, but it's such a habit that it's hard for me to do this analysis before I say it.
Another mode I get into is saying it out of frustration. It's like a tension release valve. It seems to make me feel more calm. Of course, during this latter use I'm almost always alone, so it's not applicable to the linked article.
This is a simplistic analysis. Swearing is a device of language that can be used well or misused. Most of the time we can do better, yes, but swearing does have a place that is neither disrespectful or superior [1]. What would John McClane, one of the greatest movie characters of all time [2], be without that classic line?
I guess it just comes down to the corporate culture of where you work. I also got asked what my thoughts where on C# and .Net on my interview... I said "It fucking sucks..." got hired on the spot... and got to work on lots of VS projects!
I find Australian's are much more relaxed about it, than Americans. (purely anecdotal), but I don't think it can simply be categorised as being about 'status' or something else, it's dependent on the culture you are in.
I really want to know who my superiors are so I can call them up and apologize for treating them as equals all these years.
You probably don't treat them as equals, unless you have some sort of Asperger's.
In any social setting, pecking order and stuff like that matters a whole lot to most people (and is very frequently the driving force behind a lot of the comments, even here). I try to treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are and I am disinclined to kowtow to anyone. I assure you it gets me in hot water on a routine basis with people who are trying to impose a hierarchy on the relationship and trying desperately to make sure they are in the superior position. Refusal to take the inferior position gets read by such people as an attempt to assert my superiority (and oppress them/disrespect them). It is damn difficult to convey equality to people hellbent on doing something like that. {Which makes me curious why you seem to experience it differently. :-)}
If someone does try to assert their superiority (I'm trying to think of an example, but am having a hard time) then I tend to appeal to their humanity and ask them to chill the fuck out.
(I don't know of a pecking order on HN. AFAIK you're all my equals. Even PG. He has more money than me, and has more relationships than me, is older as wiser than me, but I don't see him in any way to be my social superior.)
I'm some loud-mouthed brassy broad. If you are male, it's possible that's one reason you get less crap. I do things like sit up front in large meetings at work (because I can't see for crap and my hearing is not so good, etc) and it gets remarked on by other people like it's very aggressive Type A personality stuff. I don't do it to be assertive or anything but other people react like that's why I do things. I repeatedly run into situations where it feels to me as if acting like "everyone else" (or "just being myself") and also, oops, being female is interpreted as "feminazi" behavior.
Perhaps not the right (time and) place to make such remarks. In my defense: I'm short of sleep and working overtime this week.
Peace.
I don't think I am the only person people do this to. In fact, I think such erroneous attributions are the norm, not the exception. In my case, it frequently seems to get framed as "feminazi" or "dragon lady" or something along those lines -- ie some form of accusation that I am a woman who is aggressive to a socially unacceptable degree for a woman. I strongly suspect that many of the things I do which get negative reactions and chalked up to "ego" would be viewed as perfectly acceptable -- or even humble and self-effacing -- in a man.
and
> Swearing is absolutely a status strategy, even when speaking to groups.
The "clueless" according to the Gervais Principle (http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-o...) are the usual suspects in this (yes based on some anecdotal evidence).
EDIT: formatting.
I’m German and that seems bizarre to me. Swearing is definitely not used independently of context in German.
I almost never swear in German – written or spoken – because it feels wrong to me†. I have less problems swearing in English. This goes so far that I tend to say “fuck” to myself when something goes wrong and not the German equivalent (or if I do use a German word it’s the tame „verdammt“ – “damn”).
There is this comedy routine from 1998 by a German comedian about exactly this topic, by the way. I found it on YouTube, even with subtitles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxNLENPsbq4 (I’m not in any way claiming that it’s any good, it just fits so well.)
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† I don’t have a problem with others swearing. I’m not offended by it.
Not always, but it risks being perceived as such, which is why it's a problem.