Re:Ask HN: Is it possible to get an 18-year-old to spend les...
by eushebdbsh on Wednesday July 13, 2022 @02:23PM
(#32086779)
we live in a SOCIETY
Re:Ask HN: Is it possible to get an 18-year-old to spend les...
by mrjay42 on Wednesday July 13, 2022 @02:40PM
(#32086987)
Well their comment was actually interesting, had you read it.
It's one of the only ones so far, mentioning the fact of discussing with the 18 yo son, trying to find the cause(s) of his behavior.
Most of the other answers are as stupid a "blablabla when I was 18 I had a fulltime job", good for you Jake, it made you into the pretentious adult applying one solution to everyone else problems and even worse giving those advice randomly to people on in the internet.
There's a discussion on r/menslib that touches on this at <https://teddit.net/r/MensLib/comments/vucpf1/boys_need_help_...>.
This comment at <https://teddit.net/r/MensLib/comments/vucpf1/boys_need_help_...> is particularly relevant:
> So, as you say, the question is: did society create the computer kid by ignoring them, or did the computer kid disregard society because computers were more interesting?
> Both, possibly. But there's no smoke without fire. If you force a kid into solo, insular hobbies and to find their own ways to connect to things without the opportunity for those things to be other people, you really can't complain decades later that he's socially inept.
I felt forced to find ways to entertain myself because I grew up without friends, was emotionally neglected, and never figured out how to make friends as a kid because my parents figured that I was somehow "smart enough" to not need help with social skills. It wasn't computers for me; it was books, heavy metal albums, and console gaming.
You're not going to fix this "addiction" without first confronting the root causes. Chances are this kid was emotionally neglected, and they're using the computer to cope.