> You could do it, too. For several thousands of dollars a month — double what the average person spends on rent for a one-bedroom in D.C. — this matchmaker will not only seek out potential soulmates with your exact criteria in mind but will do the sort of investigative work that, coming from you, would seem invasive and creepy — trawling LinkedIn for singles with degrees from prestigious universities, or NextDoor for homeowners in affluent zip codes, or LegiStorm for Congressional staffers’ bios, salaries and contact information.

These are the people running our country? Gross and creepy.