> people are also tempted to simply reply when asked, even if they don't know the answer
People are intentionally given as much time as possible and not pressured into answering. This is something they focus on consciously. Conversations are even ended with exchange of contact info in case they want to follow up.
The point is not to "win" but to get them to think about why they believe something and actually come to a conclusion (but not necessary right now.) It's acknowledged that this may even strengthen their original position, which is seen as a good thing. The point is not for the questioner to argue anything or come to any conclusion.
So instead, maybe somebody says they don't trust vaccines because they know someone whose kid was diagnosed with autism after getting vaccinated. A potential follow-up question might be, "Do you know anyone who was diagnosed but who didn't get vaccinated?" Or a hypothetical, "What if you met someone who was diagnosed but who didn't get vaccinated? Would that change your belief?"
Getting them to work their own way through their beliefs - not necessarily to change said beliefs but to examine them - is the point. And given what I feel can be some REALLY far out beliefs than people have, I think it's normal to see SE practitioners sometimes lose their cool a bit or have their opinions/beliefs show.
This technique may very well set you on a path to misunderstanding when applied rigourously.