I feel even worse for layering on more here, but I think, ultimately, one of the best things a parent can give their child is a sense of personhood. It's one of the slowest, least clear lessons, and the impact seems slow to naught, but having hobbies, doing things, having your own interests as a parent is setting a model of being interested in the world: of engaging yourself & demonstrating control & direction & volition. Parents- in living- to demonstrate what a self is.
That idea- of a world where we can visibly see others who are motivated, have intrinsic motivations desires and pursuits- beyond subsistence & survival- I think that's a keystone factor in the world, in what has made humanity enduring & interesting & capable. I worry after it, significantly. And I want, very much, for parents to have time & permission, for their self to continue to mature & engage, and to not just have to always be engaged, always be tending or working.
I have plenty of time & I spend a lot of it somewhat-inertly, so I can't expect too much from 1 day a week where there might be no work & not constant family. But I do have lots of pursuits, and they do help me shape myself, help me grow & see myself over time. I want very much everyone to have some option, some time to explore on this earth, engaging, not just being engaged.
Daycare is great for the kid. The teachers can provide much more attention and direction on things that I simply can’t, and he really gets a leg up on social skills being with other kids, not just mom and dad. Spending long stretches at home with just mom and dad (and given COVID, without many play dates), he tends to become a bit wild…three day weekends or week offs aren’t just harder in a linear manner.