I've experienced (and still experience) plenty of racist jokes, and some very not-well-meaning diatribes in my travels. I've been told point blank by a girl that her father would kill her and me if she brought me home.

Is it upsetting sometimes? Sure. But it only shows certain people's ignorance. It's not my identity.

Let me try to show my perspective. I come from a culture that is painfully aware of its minority status and a long history of extreme violence directed against it. I believe that the story of our persecution is valuable insofar as it makes us tolerant of others. But I have always believed that the factions in my own ethnic group who use victimhood to explain failures or to bolster their personal identity are committing what might be called "stolen valor". And that it in fact not only reflects negatively on the group, but is deeply corrosive to an individual over time, to frame one's understanding of interactions with the other groups in that way.

In short, even if it's absolutely true, it's a crutch. And when you want to see it everywhere, you can.

There's a blessing in being born different, or in a minority. It makes it easier to separate good people from assholes.

The discussion of racist history and racial integration is extremely important in America. But it's ill served by allowing race to be a marker for our individual identity, or to project an assumption of identity on other people. My people came here to get away from that and, even with discrimination, even being hated by some, to succeed on their personal hard work and their individual merits. Let the haters hate. Be bigger and don't let them define you.