What about the opposite which is how kubectl works.

"terraform delete" only deletes what is in your config. "terraform apply" only creates and/or updates what is in your config. If you remove a resource from your config after applying it, it's your responsibility to manually delete it.

Not having to manually delete is one of the reasons I use Terraform. Managing state is much less painful than that would be.

Next question: what if your database is managed by a separate team in the same account? Just delete it eh?

Yes. The tool warned you it would do this during the plan phase.

This is absolutely the worst design for a tool imaginable. Any tooling fit for purpose must make peace with the fact that one team, and thus application of a tool, do not own an entire account.

Ultimately if you’re managing your infrastructure as code you must manage your infrastructure as code. Cattle not pets.