I've had trouble recognizing and understanding narcissists, too. I'm sixty-five, and I can't recall anyone I knew in the first fifty years of my life who I realize now was a narcissist. In contrast, I recognize retrospectively many old friends and acquaintances who, I now know, must have been on the autism spectrum.

But in the last fifteen years, I have had to deal with four people who were narcissists, two through work and two in private life. Each case was very difficult.

Those four were from very different backgrounds--four different countries of origin, three different first languages, one had grown up poor, another was from a rich family. If narcissism is becoming more prevalent, my limited sample offers no clue about possible social causes.

It begs the question. Why is this knowledge not taught at schools?

It is because the wolves are in command and dont want sheep to pull the wool off their eyes?

Seems rather important concepts to learn as you go out into the world. Not everyone sees the world thru your prism.

Because if the teachers says "some people are bad", then the pupils will ask: who of us are bad?

Who of our parents are bad?

Who of the other teachers are bad?

If you say "none", you will likely get caught in a lie.

I think most kids figure out by themselves that many people are somewhat bad. It's mainly kids who are slightly/somewhat autistic who need help with this.

You don't have to say "some people are bad" but rather "some behaviors are bad or dangerous" - and teachers certainly can and should discuss bad or dangerous behavior to correct it and to recognize it in future. They already do so for behavior that is physically bad or dangerous, why not for behavior that's psychologically bad or dangerous?

Yeah I'm somewhat on the spectrum, but not so much. It really wasnt until I was in my 20s that narcissists matured and became capable of real damage. Like putting me down in front of women, trying to get me to quit a high paying job, etc.

Most people grew up with the same mentality, and manipulative people will exploit the benefit of the doubt they're given and will use your scruples against you.