> but are so fucking tired of masking all the time you just do it anyway.

I feel like "masking" is being used for "be polite". I didn't decide to be rude, I decided not to mask my disability.

That is bullshit.

People on the spectrum may have a harder time understanding what is rude, and that may give some passes when you don't realize it. But if you decide to ignore what you've learned is rude, you're just an ass.

"Being polite" is emotional labor, whether or not that labor takes the form of "masking" a disability. While of course we should be respectful of those we engage with, avoidance of emotional labor should always take precedence over shallow notions of politeness that have nothing to do with actual respect for others.

> "Being polite" is emotional labor,

And "going to bathroom and not pissing on the floor" is physical labor. Even more so if you are on crutches.

I completely disagree with your artificial distinction between "being respectful to others" and "politeness". Politeness is defined as being respectful to others

We all benefit from a more polite interaction. To refuse to be polite because it requires effort is just taking advantage of the system without paying it back.