I was living in a HCOL location with kids and my experience matched yours. I then moved to a LCOL location and I spend a fraction of that.

I've been working remote since long before the pandemic, but I did enjoy some benefits of living in a HCOL (fun events, social life, networking) - benefits that I wasn't using as much after having kids.

If you're in the States you may also consider the benefits of lowering your tax rates + health insurance bill by moving to LCOL country overseas.

There are a few (mostly) english speaking countries with low taxes, cheap properties, low crime with decent public healthcare or cheap good private healthcare.