I’m feeling this too. I’ve worked for years as a senior engineer, but now I’m choking in interviews that are simple in hind sight.

I have an ok job at a smaller company with less politics but I simultaneously feel that I need further career progression at a large company, but also I am getting anxious with interviews, my career, money (not that I’m struggling, I have overall done better than most of my peers).

I still love programming but I wish I could build something for myself and monetise it. I’d be happy at a smaller company where I can see my work directly benefit people. But I don’t know what that looks like long term.