You're describing a difference in the outcome, which is the action + the context. I'm not saying the outcomes are the same, I'm saying the action is the same, but the context is different. Subtle distinction, but it may not even have been what the person you originally commented to meant, so I am going to abandon further discussion on this :)

It's a comparison they are never totally the same. That's the point. If women complain they are treated like slaves, do you stop them to explain they aren't actually treated like slaves?

If Abraham Lincoln shoots someone in the head, and Pol Pot shoots someone in the head, in both cases someone's killed someone else.