One question is if punishment (of what sort) will make "not well behaved" children any better behaved. Based on my observation, I wouldn't count on it. I see lots of "not well behaved" children getting strictly punished and their behavior just gets worse and worse.

I know especially in the USA we want to talk about "what people deserve" rather than "what works" (vaccines and general covid response anyone? like we'd rather have someone to blame and have the right people have bad outcomes we think they deserve, than actually do things that work?), but what a mess.

I'm actually kind of glad that some children are not well-behaved. There's something reassuring in knowing that despite thousands of years of effort some humans cannot be easily controlled.

Of course, that does not mean it's a good thing that some humans destroy property and make other people's lives miserable, but it's nice to know that the indomitable still exists within us.

If you label someone as inherently “not well behaved” you yourself are not going to be able make any progress with them, because you will not be able to see their potential or their experience.

We're bystanders, though, so let's focus on the truth rather than how it would affect our parenting of those children we will never parent.