When the going gets tough, these people are very hard to work with. The lack of connection means it will be hard to understand each other when a solution must be worked out collaboratively. And the lack of a prior emotional connection between two people will make it very easy to escalate from "I disagree with your point" to "you're dumb and an asshole".

Maybe some jobs don't require that, but as a software engineer I've needed to tread those interpersonal waters a lot. Discussions about interfaces, pushing back on requirements, picking up neat tricks, offering tough estimates, it's all much easier if there's already some report there.

...

So is being so extremely judgmental without even considering things from GP's perspective.

They are trying to keep things in harmony while focusing on output. It might not leave the work environment socially positive, but they aren't actively trying to make the place worse socially, either. That doesn't sound a bad deal considering some of us are very selective with relationships and frankly, selecting companies for colleagues would be a ridiculously long and potentially fruitless endeavor. Meanwhile, what you do get is someone who is a large net positive on other fronts.

I assume a lot of HN participants only get social interaction at work, or their colleagues are their only or primary friends, which leads to the idea “if you don’t have friendships with these people, you’re a bad worker.”

One can deliver quality work cordially, but at a distance socially, in my experience.