The only model I've ever seen this work is the Mac/Windows model. You provide a standard installer for the server (or even distribute it via the app store). The user launches it through the standard graphical app launch model (Finder or Start Menu), the server displays a suitably user-friendly GUI configuration panel, and then minimises itself to the notifications tray.

The linux model of "first learn how to use a package manager, edit configuration files by hand, and configure init scripts" is never going to be something that I can comfortably explain to computer users like my parents...