Just read the blog post from Netgate, sounds to me like they have decent values. Also them asking to keep safe disclosure procedures doesn't sound insane to me either. Beyond that it's a he said she said thing IMHO, and I don't have the time to get involved in any of that. Stuff happens between people, and them not managing to work it out doesn't per se mean they are evil or "insane".

I'm an Open Source user of pfSense (so they don't get money from me) but I still had an extremely helpful experience recently, when I had a feature request. Once I filed it, it was implemented quickly, MUCH better support than I could ever expect from a paid commercial firewall. Also the product runs reliably and is very stable since years. So I won't look for alternatives any time soon.