Neither Russian nor Chinese nor North Korean nor Iranian citizens have any say in what their respective governments do.
The system is effective, but people are complicit. Why they still are, I don't know. I grew up on soviet union and we escaped the first chance we got. But them behind the border decided to accept whatever they did. A little explanation from our neighbors who also have to put up with the russian threat all the time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF9KretXqJw
Each country has the leadership it tolerates (or deserves, I guess). It is of course very hard to depose an entrenched rul(er|ing class), but not impossible. I'm not even demanding you do so, it makes sense to my mind that you would choose flight over fight. But that does not put you in the same position as fleeing Ukrainians.
I would mostly agree, but:
- fleeing your home country because its inhabitants (including yourself) have let it go to shits and you have a choice between keeping on tolerating what has been always there or just NOW deciding to flee
vs.
- fleeing your home country which for the last few years has started going to the right direction, has hope of becoming part of a much more welcoming and tolerant world .. because some thugs are literally killing your family, bombing your house and you either flee or risk dying.
There is no question which of those two uses up all of my empathy. Once the war has stopped, once all who have lost their actual home have it back, then we may have empathy for the people who let this happen.