Also some people say that a lot of animals have similar emotional/biological needs. It's not just a matter of homo-* history it seems.
I would assume you were brought up in a modern cultural environment. That means your view of the world, your values, your expectations, your fantasies - are shaped by that upbringing.
So, your feelings are not good evidence that this is "programmed deep down inside of us".
That seems a … bizarre opinion. Until industrialization, human relationships were directly tied to survival.
And, in fact you're making the point even more strongly, in that you seem to identify lifelong, formal, monogamous pairing with the potential for human companionship.
Cities and written language and written laws and such are not that old either...
What was the case in some earlier societies shouldn't be a yardstick...
By Fredrick Engles, known most popularly when associated with his co-author Karl Marx. Who among their many philisophical ideas advocated things such as
- "All history is class warfare"
- Dialectical materialism that proved to be so wrong no one even knows about it anymore.
- Or my personal favorite that the communist revolution would come first to the most capitalist countries, when in fact the only countries that fell to communism were backward feudal societies or those that had communism forced on them by the Soviet Union.
My point if your source of information is Engles then I'd suggest checking out some resources from people haven't been quite so thoroughly eviscerated by actual reality when their ideas were put to any sort of test.
Many past societies did not have atomic families like we do today.
In fact, even couple-marriage is not _that_ old (several thousands of years)? I remember reading about this stuff in "Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State", which, while somewhat dated (125 years ago or so?) is quite interesting. Matrilineal societies, group marriage (i.e. being 'married' to all people in a certain category so that if you travel to another village you have people in your 'family' or 'marriage group' there even if you've never met them) and other arrangements.