Why should this be developer and user driven? Facebook on their permission page when I first visit it should be more than capable in allowing me to change what permissions are given.

If they can retroactively remove them, they should be able to do so before I even grant any permissions.

Give me two columns, one "Allow" and one "Disallow" and I can drag the permissions to the columns as I see fit. Can an app give me a template or ask for certain permissions by default, yes, absolutely, but let me change them.