I'm older than you. The code I write and the production systems I've brought online tend to stick around. It's because I pour my heart and soul into making them as beautiful and poetic as possible. Because I'm not just thinking about my paycheck. I'm thinking about the next guy who's going to be maintaining it, and how good his life is going to be, after I've moved on to a different project, and then the next guy. I think if we all approached our work with the same level of tender loving care that we normally reserve only for our children, then the world would be a more pleasant place.

It sounds like you haven't had the experience of being fired without notice, with one month of rent in savings.

Companies literally don't care whether you die. Why would you pour your heart and soul into something so soulless?

When I felt as you did, it ended up causing interpersonal conflicts when my vision of "good" didn't match my coworkers'. If you pour your heart and soul into something, and then everyone disagrees that it's good, then empirically you were a net negative for the team. Strike two for soulpouring.

I understand you might want to remain anonymous, but it's also telling that you didn't link to any examples of the work that you're proud of.

My point is, try not to judge others for not feeling as you do. Empathy is a difficult art, but it's worthwhile. It wasn't till I was diagnosed with narcolepsy that most of my work history made sense in hindsight -- zero companies were tolerant to missed meetings, with the thankful exception of my current role. (I wrote about my experiences here: https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1392213804684038150)

And no matter how much you care about your work, I bet you don't pour your heart and soul into meetings. So it always felt like the world cared about things I didn't, which in turn made me stop caring beyond professionalism.

But professionalism has merit. Once I detached my ego, I was able to take orders well, and to execute someone else's vision well. "Tool" is another name for that sort of person. And although I don't enjoy being a tool, I'm well-compensated for it, and the counterparty and I both walk away happy.

Companies normally don't fire a crackerjack but that happened to me back in the 2000's during one of the more vulnerable parts of my life. The vice president who recruited me took a higher paying gig at a competitor. Then my manager went on a weeklong vacation. I showed up to work one day and found that my computer couldn't access the network. I asked the IT guy what happened and with a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead he was like, uhh talk to the new VP. Turns out first day on the job, he decided to can me. When my manager came back from vacation and learned what they'd done, he immediately tendered his resignation. Really unfortunate. But I checked and they're still using my code.

But it doesn't matter, because one goofball VP doesn't shake my faith in myself and the meaningfulness of the work that myself and my colleagues are doing. You might have lost faith but that doesn't mean other people should too. The GP wasn't just musing about his own life. He very explicitly said you and came across as saying your life doesn't matter if work is the thing that matters to you, because your work will never matter unless you're Gates. I don't accept that and I won't empathize with that conclusion. Because it's demoralizing and insulting to everyone who's working hard. If his truth was accepted as everyone's truth, then could you imagine how unpleasant the world would be? The simple fact is that your family matters and your work matters too. Regardless of whatever misfortune or doom and gloom you may have encountered on your journey.

“Companies don’t fire a crackerjack” implies that you’ve always been seen as an all-star team member.

Consider an alternate universe where you were never allowed to feel like an all-star, because you were never able to show up for meetings on time, and people got progressively madder at you regardless of how much soul or effort you put in.

We’re probably two sides of the same coin. You got lucky at all your jobs, and I got unlucky. But it certainly made me think twice about thinking badly of people who get fired, regardless of official reasons.

(Your manager seemed to actually care about you on a personal level? That ~never happens.)

What you call luck, I'd call magic. The important thing to understand about magic tricks is they're really not all that magical once you learn how to perform them. People are also willing to overlook a great deal when they believe you're a luckbringer. My manager for instance cared about me on a personal level because I was contributing to his success. When the VP took me away, it weakened him.

How do you do that when your manager always considers you an unreliable risk?

I think you're dramatically underestimating how much it matters to be punctual in the vast majority of companies, regardless of whether your code output is reliable.

Then you find a new manager, in a different team maybe, who aligns with your values and respect your strengths. There are many different types of people in any company. It takes 2 to tango, and I'm sure one of these managers will be delighted to find someone just like them!

As for punctuality, there are many people who are punctual but couldn't code their way out of paperback, let alone fight they way out of a soaking wet one :)

Guess who'll be brought in to the rescue when they predictibly fail?

Your perspective matters a lot. It will color your actions. Punctuality or even code reliability ultimately doesn't matter. What matters is if you can bring more money to the company, one way or another. If you are doing sales meetings, it may be punctuality. If you are doing tech work on the core infrastructure, it may be code reliability. Find your own niche, surrounded by people who like you and need the unique strengths you bring to the table.

As someone who is at least reasonably productive and competent, who suffers from a medical condition that forces me to live in the reality you say is trivial, let me assure you that if you could switch places with me for one year, you wouldn’t write this. The inaccuracies are so overwhelming that it’s hard to correct it, and there’s also no point in having that conversation with someone who believes these things so strongly.

By the way, sign up at http://www.hnreplies.com/ and you never have to worry about missing replies, or use karma as a reply indicator.

> suffers from a medical condition that forces me to live in the reality you say is trivial

LOL

You know nothing about me! A meeting before 11a has about 20% chances I will attend, tops. And even if, by chance, I happen to be there, I won't have much to contribute before my 2nd redbull.

Yet, somehow, I've found a way to make it work, by focusing on my strengths and what I can bring to the table, and moving myself to the right environment.

So I'm telling you, your perspectives limit you. Several people also have tried to tell you. But it seems you want to ignore that, maybe in a desire to be in the right because the alternative might be threatening to your self identity/the wisdom of your past decisions?

It may seem harsh for me to tell that, but some people like to double down on their errors, as (re)claiming agency can be frightening at first.

Well, whatever, if you are like that, and it works for you, why not?

> By the way, sign up at http://www.hnreplies.com/ and you never have to worry about missing replies, or use karma as a reply indicator.

I'm way too lazy for that :) It kinda works this way (unless when I forget what the karma was at the day before, oopsies), and HN is not important enough to me to make it worth being distracted by email/push notifications.

Maybe one day dang or someone will add a colored notification, a bit like reddit?

That I could use!

Nah, your perspective doesn’t bother me. Minorities and disabled people are used to ignorance, so it’s no surprise you’re doubling down.

I do feel that the most productive course of action is to end this conversation, though. There are more enjoyable ways to spend one’s birthday.

Suffice to say, I have no identity. But if one day you were to go blind, and then listen to someone telling you with a straight face that it really doesn’t matter, you’ll feel what I felt in this thread.

“Think of me~~ Think of me fond-ly, when we say good-bye~~ Remember me, once in awhile~~ please promise me you’ll try~~” as the song goes.

I've been building systems for years in numerous places. Have you never experienced a political situation where a decision is made in these systems you describe as beautiful and poetic, that is not your own and yet due to organisational structures you must obey? I am curious given your attachment how you handle these. They're standard political issues in organizations larger than a few people.

My attachment? That aside, I think what you're asking is really simple. Relationships and empires are built on compromise. When you work a job you should agree with the stated objectives of your bosses. If you've got those bases covered, and it's a healthy environment too, then nothing should surprise you.

Reading this made me realize I've written code that's no only older than a lot of people reading this, it's still being sold to new customers.

That's really impressive. What's the code? Something like that sounds like it could be a really inspirational success story.

It's not that inspirational in reality. I worked for a company that produced software for banks converting their systems over to Windows in the 90s. The resulting packages are still being sold to new financial institutions by the company that bought the company that bought the company that bought the company I worked for at the time. Heh. One of my old coworkers there still makes some decent money as a consultant supporting it.

I also worked on some ATM software at the same company, but it was pre-windows and I doubt it's running many places, much less being sold still.

I think that's inspirational. What was it, written in something like COBOL? I've had my codebases demolished by things like Express changing its API enough times that you might say I've got a little COBOL envy. Major respect to anything that's stood the test of time and continues to serve a useful purpose after all these years.