As a kid, I was extremely anxious from both genetic and situational reasons. Earthquakes nearly gave me panic attacks. I decided I didn't want to be limited by phobias or fears of unknown/inexperience. For personal development reasons, I dove towards anything that scared me to get over it: arachnophobia, acrophobia, peniaphobia, atelophobia, and whatever else that seemed limiting or impossible. Also, it took decades to get over, but I used to be deathly afraid of women more so than stage fright in front of hundreds of people. Now, when I see someone interesting trembling on the other side, I feel obliged to offer sympathetic reassurances, i.e., today only: free hugs for normal humans, supplies are limited. :)
I have a condition of unknown etiology apparently causing autonomic disfunction that also causes my sense of fear to be almost silenced.[i] It's a constant state of "anxiety", hyper-vigilance, and inappropriate sinus tachycardia unmanageable by anxiolytics (CBD, BZs, etc.), box breathing, meditation, therapy, or anything so far. Emotionally and psychologically, I do not feel much in the way of any actual fear or anxiety despite having physiological anxiety symptoms. Adrenaline and self-preservation instincts still work alright. If I could relax, I would give my left nut. I don't have PTSD, i.e., intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, or sweating episodes. If I had to do front-line combat, I wouldn't have any aftereffects.
i) Examples:
1. I had no problem confronting a 300 lbs. aggressive, mentally-ill, homeless dude from terrorizing a mother and her young son.
2. I do stupid, extreme sports shit and take random risks (not gambling or substances) for fun. PPG, 40+ mph e-scooter in traffic, and learning to longboard. Used to street race.
3. I've been through multiple mass-casualty regional disasters. In each, I only felt inconvenienced and later reflected on the losses of life.
4. I may not be John Wick, but anyone stupid enough to come at me with a weapon better know how to retain it, or they're going to lose it and likely receive an educational beatdown. Irish propensity for grudges, finishing fights, and lengthy military family lineage.
I have a condition of unknown etiology apparently causing autonomic disfunction that also causes my sense of fear to be almost silenced.[i] It's a constant state of "anxiety", hyper-vigilance, and inappropriate sinus tachycardia unmanageable by anxiolytics (CBD, BZs, etc.), box breathing, meditation, therapy, or anything so far. Emotionally and psychologically, I do not feel much in the way of any actual fear or anxiety despite having physiological anxiety symptoms. Adrenaline and self-preservation instincts still work alright. If I could relax, I would give my left nut. I don't have PTSD, i.e., intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, or sweating episodes. If I had to do front-line combat, I wouldn't have any aftereffects.
i) Examples:
1. I had no problem confronting a 300 lbs. aggressive, mentally-ill, homeless dude from terrorizing a mother and her young son.
2. I do stupid, extreme sports shit and take random risks (not gambling or substances) for fun. PPG, 40+ mph e-scooter in traffic, and learning to longboard. Used to street race.
3. I've been through multiple mass-casualty regional disasters. In each, I only felt inconvenienced and later reflected on the losses of life.
4. I may not be John Wick, but anyone stupid enough to come at me with a weapon better know how to retain it, or they're going to lose it and likely receive an educational beatdown. Irish propensity for grudges, finishing fights, and lengthy military family lineage.