What would be the point of "transaction privacy"?

Odd statement. It is on par that all your bank statement should be public and easily viewable. It is on par saying that people do need digital privacy at all, as they have nothing to hide. And those are trying to hide are really 'bad people'. Monero/Zcash/Dash/Firo/etc are used by legitimate users to hide their transactions from public blockchain.

Your bank statement is not private, your bank has it. You can pay with cash, but the other customers can see you right there paying, so that's not private either. I understand the need for private communications, but private transactions don't seem to make a lot of sense.

To avoid getting kidnapped and tortured because your crypto portfolio is visible to everyone?

There are plenty of examples of that: https://github.com/jlopp/physical-bitcoin-attacks

Haha tell that to the IRS they'd love it.