I still see my father in law and my step father dying (separately) very clearly, and wish I couldn't. I can see the life draining from my stepfathers half open eyes and his face as the nurse, thankfully, "made him more comfortable" [0] as he was taken off the ventilator. I can also see my father in law's blood drain from his swollen face as the heart-lung machine was disconnected. It's horrible.

[0]: I suspect that's just code for pumping him with an overdose of opiates so he would die quicker and with less spasms and no pain, but I can't be sure. I kind of think it's an open secret in medicine that they do this, though not sure, and I appreciate her service in helping us all be more comfortable in that room with her action that day.