Not actively pushing back against something doesn't make one "part of the problem". It makes one a bystander, and no, bystanders are not part part of the problem they are neutrals. They could be more "helpful" for our cause if they where not, but they are not part of the problem, they are "untapped potential" if you will.
This kind of rhetoric bullies people into action and even tough I agree that we should push back in this case, this kind of bullying is not okay.
“ Let not any one pacify his conscience by the delusion that he can do no harm if he takes no part, and forms no opinion. Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing. He is not a good man who, without a protest, allows wrong to be committed in his name, and with the means which he helps to supply, because he will not trouble himself to use his mind on the subject.”
So what? Why can't we acknowledge neutrality because some other people don't?
Obviously I'm not saying you always have to risk your job/career/livelihood/reputation to take unpopular (but right) action. That's just a nice-to-have.
The classic example is the video of the black man showing the soap dispenser not working with his hand until he put a white piece of paper under it.
Parents, or people who take care of children (which is still mostly women), will have different ideas about when they may be available for things.
These are just two examples. You say discrimination is always a problem, but if a space is only full of one kind of person there may already be discrimination happening.
Why is diversity an explicit goal anyways? What is there to gain from "diversity" in particular superficial diversity (skin color, sex) vs intellectual diversity?
> Over the last decade I think there has often been an unspoken preference towards candidates that improve diversity, and I don't have a problem with this.
You're part of the problem. Discrimination is always a problem, even if it's subtle. We (the tech geeks) should have pushed against this from the start, not let it fester and spread.