> Don’t put them in a position to embarrass themselves: “RxJS was really confusing for me when I learned it, was there any way I could make my explanation clearer in this talk?” This is much more effective than just, “Did that make sense?” People are going to say “yes” to that 90% of the time to save face (you can tell this by their facial expression and tone of voice). A related trick for this is to create a hypothetical third person: “The next time I give this talk, is there something I could do to make the explanation clearer for the audience?”

This really illustrates how an understanding of human behavior and social norms is needed to ask the right questions in the right way in order to actually get the answers you need.

It is a good way to ask the question but I don't think the explanation is on point. These are different questions after all.

Someone who needs to save face when asked if content made sense will have not understood the talk. It's doubtfull they'll have anything to add to make your explanation clearer if asked for that, not without again losing face and admitting they didn't understand a certain part.

However I do think the rephrased question will invite more feedback from those who already understood the content and themselves are aware of the more bumpy pieces and want to point them out. Those folks are indeed more ready to now provide feedback.

Interesting, and since I see quite a few of these request come by, I wanted to share my pet peeve on the subject:

Sure you would like to know everything about me AND your subject, but as soon as you ask me "ASL?" I am out.

Or in other words: do not over ask.

What is ASL?

you must be proper young. Age/Sex/Location - just that in the days of irc, one could be properly anonymous and pick a different nick everytime.

Indeed what I meant.

A language(American Sign Language) used primarily by the deaf and hard of hearing in North America. Though in this context, they probably mean Age, Sex and Location.

I'm sure other things exist that use this name, however.

There’s a time and place for asking explicitly for feedback - it can give you 1:1 time with a mentor, and make you look engaged with your role.

But IMO more important is being able to see/hear feedback day to day without having to ask. Try to notice patterns in code review comments, which conversations you’re having trouble participating in due to lack of seniority in that area, which of your suggestions fall flat, etc. and don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions (nondefensively!)/do some research if you don’t understand why you’re getting a particular reception.

This makes total sense. Whenever I'm asked to give total feedbacks, I find it challenging, however, when I ask people for feedbacks myself, I wonder why they find it so hard to say their opinion. The points mentioned in this article made things clear.

The most important step: Give yourself feedback first. Only then will you really own your learning experience. By the way: this is even more powerful in front of others but needs caring others that can hold your space.

Reminds me of https://wizardzines.com/comics/ask-for-specific-feedback/

Interesting tips, I wonder how that can be applied to strangers for artists