Why can't they give me a proper /56 so I have at least 256 addresses to play with on the part that's intended to be used for prefix delegation? Even Comcast Business allocates a /56 but the stupid modems they require you to lease to use that service reserve 4 more bits of that so you only really get to operation on a /60.

CONSUMER gear should be getting at least /56 to the internal network, and Business grade should probably get at least /52. Which is almost what RIPE recommends (up to /48 for business customers, and /56 for normal users). https://www.ripe.net/publications/docs/ripe-690