Re:Divorce does funny things
by throwaway_sjfgd on Wednesday November 17, 2021 @05:01AM
(#29250966)
Would I be correct in guessing that you have not faced such a situation yourself?
My motivation for asking -- What you wrote is advice inexperienced people commonly give. It's nothing that those facing the challenge would not already know.
Having faced the challenge, I see several flaws / loose ends in your advice, and would recommend you or anyone reading the same to be watch out, and do your best to learn from the experiences of people who have gone through.
Keep in mind that if one is not facing the challenge, it need not be because of some special skill or wisdom they may have, but just because of chance, and vice versa.
This idea of a challenge is all in your mind. You can choose suffering or choose to be present.
This is an incredibly patronizing statement to make, whether or not you realize it.
Re:Divorce does funny things
by throwaway_sjfgd on Friday November 19, 2021 @09:04AM
(#29277206)
I do not think that's so trivial or 'binary' like it is often stated.
Someone had asked a related question on the same OP thread: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29240007
My response is here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29240601
You can only influence and change one person and that person is you. Focus on yourself. You are not responsible for anyone else's happiness.
There are some practical skills to learn too like the five secrets of communication.
But you don't have to suffer and take the stress. Is the relationship worth your heart attack?