I'm trying to make sense of this. From the content I'm going to presume you're male, otherwise you'd be discussing from a female perspective instead of speaking for a select few based upon your understanding of their world.

In either case, whether or not their perspective is to want to make room for others doesn't mean that all women feel that way. I've had quite a few talk about this exact kind of experience including former mentors and managers of mine (I've also been lucky to work for some kick ass women). They tell me that they have to prove even more, dress/act more masculine, etc to be taken seriously. This isn't just one woman who has told me this either. This is quite a few over a 15 year period.

Staying gender neutral is an easy way to create room and make it feel less skewed, especially when the context is a senior leader (aka glass ceiling). I know you did with your original they, so I'm talking more generally here rather than this specific instance. The last year has had an outpouring of people's experiences being different in all these respects, and stories in business are easy to find. This week is also the Society of Women Engineer's conference where there's talks on navigating these kinds of environments. Perhaps you might find it interesting to attend and hear. It's available virtually.

I'm not making this out to be dire.. it's quite minor. But that doesn't mean minor things don't add up when you're an outsider. Being a gay man, I've seen that change in language over time to be less presumptive. I don't get offended when people ask about my wife (they'd be right the majority of the time!), but it is nice when people make room for my spouse to not be female.