I'm a founder taking a significant pay cut and worked at early stage startups before that. Had a few hot new ML startups try to recruit me and their offers are nowhere near what my friends at FAANG are making.

Last time I was looking for work 8 years ago the gap was nowhere near this large.

Not sure about founders, but if you're looking to hire top talent you need to pay them, give them the promise of meaningful equity. Software engineering is one of those professions where you don't work a 9 - 5 job. I'm constantly thinking about problems at work, while i do mundane tasks like cleaning my apartment, or doing the dishes.

Yes but unfortunately most startups can't afford to compete with monopolies. As the OP mentions I'd recommend anyone considering startups to value equity at $0 unless it's a late stage company with a lot of traction and top VCs backing them.

Would you define late stage as Series B? Where do you draw that line?

Yes, ones that are obviously a year or two from an IPO or a major acquisition.

Stripe being founded 12 years ago with 7 billion in revenue I don't call a startup. Might as well call facebook a startup at this point. Databricks is 8 years old. They are just private.

Nearly public, to be exact