Tone deaf. There's still ~6 hours a day of just sitting in a room alone. Glad you've found success in life but this might not be for others

Call it what you want but that advice comes from experience. I worked remote for many years before pandemic and had plenty of issues with isolation.

Sometimes in life socialization comes easy and requires no work, but that's not always the case. This is a common problem people face once they leave high school/college. The truth is that real social relationships, the ones that keeps us more fulfilled take work.

I realized that to not feel lonely all the time when working at home I had to put some effort into making sure I reached out to friends, scheduled lunches and calls (which can happen during that 6 hour period, that's one of the benefits of WFH), make sure I went to local meetups etc. The end result was that from that effort I made some fantastic friendships that were much more fulfilling.

Even in the OP's current work environment a little more deliberate effort can go a long a way. I'm sure other coworkers feel the same way, if they pair programmed in the office why not reach out and schedule some pairing sessions? I've know many remote places that do this. Schedule virtual coffees during the day where two people can just chat, again something I've seen at many remote places.

Yes, for decades people could get a basic level of socialization for no effort, but like most no effort things that socialization goes as easy as it comes.

Having been in a similar situation to OP, that was the lesson I learned so that's the advice I'm giving, which I hardly think is tone deaf.

What's tone deaf and patronizing about your responses is that you assume that your personal working style is the best and only one for every person. Imagine not understanding that different people are different, and as a result may have working styles that are different too.

Where are you getting that I'm assuming that "personal working style is the best and only one for every person"? I am recommending what worked for me. It's a bit different than the question the OP ask's but, given a similar situation, it's what has worked.

I suspected you my be projecting a bit of your own insecurities here.

Unfortunately HN has become an increasing hostile place, and I think rather extreme reactionary response to a simple recommendation is becoming the norm.

In a weird way, thanks for finally waking me up to the realization that is community is not what it was and not one where I should be spending time anymore.

I have no idea why these two users are taking such an uncharitable view of what you wrote. It's sad and offensive.

HN, by the mere fact that it is a discussion community, is about sharing perspectives and opinions. No one here is forced to read or believe anything anyone else says.

I appreciated your comments and would hate to see you go.

I have this too.

Listening to music when the programming task is simple helps me somewhat. Apparently, it scratches part of the "social itch".

YMMV

I'd much prefer to work alone and in silence than in an open office, or cube, or commute...

I can focus on what I'm doing when I'm alone. It's definitely preferable when writing things like code or copy, which is majorly stressful if other people are in the room.

If I feel like chatting, I can go to the cafe, talk to a neighbor. Even meeting the same UPS guy every day is kind of nice and makes me feel like my home is part of a regular community.

It feels much more natural than spending a good portion of my day on the freeway or in an office and just using my home for a place to sleep.

That nice but doesn’t answer the question. WFH for a lot of people sucks. Especially roles that aren’t right software engineer. Many roles are very hard to do remote (product, UX, etc)

I can’t wait to return to our offices and go back to normal. WFH works for some people and some projects but not all.

Plus being around people that aren’t your family is nice too.

>I would recommend looking into decoupling your social needs from your job.

I absolutely hate that this is the standard answer that comes up everytime someone mentions not being happy with WFH. Not only it doesn't answer the question, but it's just a slightly more polite version of "just make friends, duh" which is not helpful at all.

To many people (myself included) 2-3 hours of social activities in a day is not enough. I need to be around people, and while it's great to meet some friends in the evening it doesn't change the fact that I just spent 10 miserable hours alone in my appartment. In addition to that, I find there are many disadvantages to remote work: I hate doing over the phone what could have been a nice in-person chat, I hate how tedious it is to show/explain things that would have been easily demonstrated in person, I hate how difficult it is to grasp non-verbal cues, etc. I don't know a single person IRL who likes full time WFH, but judging by how popular it is here, it seems I shouldn't assume that everybody is in the same situation. Conversely, don't assume everybody can turn his miserable WFH experience in something awesome just "by doing stuff in the evening". Btw no offense but I had to laugh at your suggestion that a vido chat is a social activity.

Wow, what a patronizing response. Some people work better alone, some work better with others around. I'm in the later category - I prefer working with people who I would never consider friends over working alone. It has nothing to do with using work for my social life and everything to do with how I work best.

What if you answer the question instead of telling other people how to exist?

Most people spend 8 hours a day at work. That's a huge amount of our lives.

There's a difference between being dependent on work for social contact and wanting to work in an environment that's social.

I don't think this person is looking for a work BFF so much as a work environment that is collaborative and isn't built around solo work.

I don’t think humans evolved to be alone/work alone 8 hours a day 5 days a week. We’ve almost always worked in some sort of a community/tribe each day

You're getting a lot of flack for this response. Although, it's pretty good advice, it just doesn't answer the question proposed.