> I spend a fair amount of time on Zoom calls (who doesn't?), and I like to use my Apple AirPods so I can move around while we talk. I was never was able to get these or any other Bluetooth headset to work on Ubuntu.

I do not want to be the cliché Linux user and recommend some config change and assert that would have been simple and helped 110%, but out of interest, did you also try something like

  > Set ControllerMode = bredr or ControllerMode = dual by editing
  > /etc/bluetooth/main.conf file
  > systemctl restart bluetooth

(paraphrased and s/sysv/systemd/ from https://itectec.com/ubuntu/ubuntu-pairing-apple-airpods-as-h... )