I'm very happy to have gotten into a committed relationship right before online dating apparently became mandatory, although also vaguely curious what the experience is like. It seems like such a personal thing was suddenly connected to the internet, which is fascinating. Although also terrifying. I'm glad I don't have to actually deal with it.

If you say “I don’t use Instagram” without the spyware spiel, does it go any better? Or is not having Instagram alone enough to have things go south?

IG is used for messaging, so the inability to text back and forth is the issue, with or without the rant. Attractive people are reluctant to give out their phone numbers and SMS is uncool.