I think the point is that there are plenty of generally desirable places to live where you can reasonably make a down payment on $150k/yr. You personally have chosen to rule out those places, for reasons that are good ones for you. That's your choice to make, of course, but you've decided you'll only consider the most expensive places in NJ to live, and many people will not do that.

(But man, have things changed. I grew up in central Jersey in the 80s, and back then no one of any means wanted to live across the Hudson from Manhattan. Nuts to see that now many people are priced out of that area.)