I don’t know much about urban planning but I see it in tech: the stuff discussed on HN and presented as more or less normal/best practice isn’t being done or even thought of as “best practice” outside of the HN crowd. See enterprise development and a vast number of agencies or other companies that, together, make the bulk of the software being made and sold today where basic things like unit testing or the open/closed principle are seen as a waste of time and unnecessary.
The damage will take decades or even centuries to undo, as traditional towns and cities are replaced with walkable ones, an effort that will undoubtedly meet significant resistance as most people have dumped a sizable portion of their net worth into their vehicle.
Agree. But let me add that finding that sweet spot where the body isn't in horrible shape is not as easy as it might seem, based on my observation.
My father-in-law was a Minnesota dairy farmer all his life. By his early 60's his body was utterly beat up by the hard work. I, on the other hand, got a little too soft and CRT-tanned over the years, so while not as beat up at the same age in some ways, my cardio health is not what it should be and I am rearranging my life to make room for more exercise and have made radical changes to my diet. But on the other, other hand, a friend's mom was a competitive athlete and active coach all of her life, and by her early 60's is as beat up as my father-in-law was. So there is such a thing as unhealthy exercise.
Good diet, and the right amount of low-impact exercise would seem to be the path to enjoyable golden years. Which is such a broad statement as to be utterly un-actionable.... cue the arguments over diet and exercise. And then, of course, there is the issue of motivation, even if you could be told the One Correct Way.....
(107 days without BBQ ribs... but who is counting??)
I say linger because that's what it looks like. I'd rather die before being placed in one.
Think of the famous Dylan Thomas poem, Do not go gentle into that good night
Do not go gentle into that good night
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
The parent's comment and Thomas' perspective make perfect sense for a younger person: If you are young, do not go gentle, and do not linger in a place like a nursing home - to demonstrate the difference in stages of life, a nursing home is accepted for elderly people, but just imagine the absurdity of a healthy 37 year old living in one; at that age, it would be indeed be barely living. An opium den would almost be seen as more acceptable.
But in my experience and understanding, and again for reasons some of which I guess at but don't yet grasp, for elderly people it's very often different. Some elderly people I know well are much more accepting of death, in ways they don't often discuss with young people, just like they don't discuss many physical issues of aging - death is all around them; they have growing maladies and can't avoid risking death (a flu, a broken hip, Covid, etc., all carry that risk); their business includes planning their own deaths via wills, DNR instructions, etc.; and their friends and colleagues are not getting married, getting new jobs, having new kids, they are dying - and they are more tired of life.
But what do I know? I think I know nothing, like a 13 year old talking about life at 37. Maybe Dylan Thomas (at age 37) and I are not quite ready to know the truth of old age. I don't tell teenagers many of the worst elements of adulthood; why burden them and take away the optimism and energy of youth? They will learn anyway, and now is their chance to enjoy what they have.
The deeper driver for this loneliness is how fractured family and community ties have gotten over the last 50 years. When growing up outside of US, it was u thinkable that my elders could be left alone without much contact. It seems to be the norm here and thinking to my eventual future, I really don’t know what it will hold.
I'm not disagreeing with your premise that we should fix these social problems, but it feels a bit orthogonal. In addition to that, it seems like human policies are reactionary. So making people live longer seems like a good way to make these things more important to more people, and thus sufficient enough to pass the threshold to actually do something about it.
You need family to look after you - children, grand children, nieces, nephews, and so on. They are the people that will truly care and advocate for you, if you become incapable.
The "commute 60 minutes to an office" culture is rather hostile to community living. As is the fact that many people aged 80 or so are alive, but not self-sufficient and need nursing.
If you get a stroke in rural Africa (or in 19th century Europe), you just die and that's it. Your descendants do not need to worry about keeping you alive but bedridden for five more years.
Of course, this will always be a deeply personal decision and there's no universal answer to this question.
I don't like this idea kids owe their parents anything simply for existing. Nobody asks to be born, and since there's no meaningful consent it would be wrong of me to impose a duty of care on my future children when they have no say in the matter. I owe them a decent childhood because I chose to bring them into existence, they don't owe me a decent old age just because of social expectations. In fact, I'd be proud of them for rejecting those expectations because grudgingly making those kind of sacrifices can only breed resentment.
But what kind of life is it?
Many elderly have lived miserable, hopeless lives, and when they age not only do they suffer bodily infirmities, but they're desperately lonely as for many of them all of their friends and family have died, or they've been abandoned by their families, they have no one to support them, and suffer from mental issues like dementia and depression on top of that.
Little wonder that so many of the elderly commit suicide.
Not to discourage anti-aging research, but if I had to prioritize I'd choose focusing on eliminating poverty, improving social safety nets, and building stronger communities.
Improving mental health and helping people to live healthier lives while they're young so their bodies aren't in horrible shape by the time they're old would also make for good priorities.