Denmark is a relatively benevolent colonist, yes. The conflicts that have thus far surfaced have been around Greenland being able to make all its own trading decisions even when they become issues of national security (as when China attempted to build out rare-earth mines).

I am sympathetic to Greenland's desire for total self-determination but so long as they continue to receive aid from "mother Denmark", and so long as they are unable to mount a proper defense of their lands with their own military funded from their own pockets, they will never be allowed. The danger of another nation sailing in with a fighting navy is just too great.

You simply can't defend a country the size of four Californias when you are a nation of 56000 people.

A bit of a tangent but as a Dane I'd like to see Denmark, the Faroes, and Greenland find a way to come closer together, given that the population of the Faroe Islands and Greenland together number little more than 100,000. Our relationship to the Faroe Islands is already "pretty good", it's our relationship to Greenland that could be much improved.

I've long advocated that Danes have a duty to visit their friends in Greenland and the Faroe Islands. In Danish, the autonomous territories and Denmark together are called, "Rigsfællesskabet", the "Fellowship of the Kingdom". We understand each other by going to those places and hearing of the problems and difficulties they face: what they need.

For reference, Iceland has a population of only 360k people and has no standing army. It has nevertheless not been militarily attacked and subjugated, because of its alliances, including its NATO membership. If Iceland with its small population and no military can be kept secure through NATO membership, so can Greenland.

Iceland was invaded by the Brits in WWII to keep it out of German hands: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_of_Iceland

And NATO did not exist back then.