It is impossible for you to know how many of those events were because of sexism, or how many were because of general incompetence on the part of your elders. I, as a boy, experienced everything you did, but would never have attributed it to sexism because boys are never taught to do that.

I've known brilliant, moderately smart, and downright stupid women. None of the brilliant ones complain about stereotyping. (They may talk about wishing there were more women in their field, but that is different.) These women simply go about being brilliant. It's only the one's who think they are better than they actually are who "get their panties in a bun". This is a convenient scapegoat that unqualified men simply don't have.

That said, I hope I'm misinterpreting the tone of your comment. I too would like to encourage more women to be technical. But the way to do that is to focus on the good things, not the drawbacks. Talk about Marie Curie in exactly the same way that you would talk about Einstein. By emphasizing the obstacles she/you had to overcome, you're downplaying her/your actual achievements.

The way to get more women in technical fields is to highlight their success, not dwell on their obstacles.

how many bright men are internalizing messages detrimental to their education and career choices? maybe a little guy power would help them keep going in the face of subtle etc.

However, we should get rid of majoritarian shame/guilt, of course.