>wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games

>excited to play some halo infinite

>"xbox on"

>"XBOX ON"

>"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"

>"ERROR! Please drink a verification can"

>reach into my Dontos Mountain Halo War Chest

>only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night

>still feeling sick from the 14

>force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"

>xbox does nothing

>i attempt to smile

>"Connecting to verification server"

>"Verification complete!"

>finally

>boot up halo infinite

>finding multiplayer match...

>"ERRORI User attempting to steal online gameplay!"

>my mother just walked in the room

>"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"

>"No!"

>"Console entering lock state!"

>"to unlock drink verification can"

>last can

>"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"

>drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick

>pour the last half out the window

>"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"

>the mountain dew ad plays

>i have to dance for it

>feeling so sick

>makes me sing along

>dancing and singing

>"mountain dew is for me and you"

>throw up on my self

>throw up on my tv and entertainment system

>router shorts

>"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"