I stick to my point and tbh you should talk to a doctor or get a diagnosis from someone deeply familiar with the dsm and not self diagnose and self treat. fwiw I can appreciate you're carrying emotional pain and suffering and it's common we throw around the word "depression" casually to describe this stuff but I don't think you're clinically depressed until it starts overriding your executive function .. it's all a scale of course and you could be heading in a direction so either way talking to a doctor would be good for you