I would have had the same hole inside, but I have found since that the love of my children goes a long way towards helping that. I am saying that I denied myself this for 9 years because I was busy, and I denied them a father who was present and paying attention. With a lot of work, together we have figured it out. The funny thing is they grew up with a lot of money and now there is none, but neither one of them has said a single word about the money being gone. They are happy I am back.