I went through this for a year, and apparently a lot of our married friends have too. I think that this particular side-effect of the pill is more common than drug companies would like to admit. Worse, I think it's been attributed to female nature instead of recognized as a side effect of this far-too-common drug.
there's also other non-oral options such as the Evra patch. Because it's through the skin the hormonal dosage is a bit lower than the pill. Other options include the Nueva ring and a three-month per shot injection thing, altho that improves her chances of getting osteoporosis.
Yeah unfortunately there's not a lot of other options other than the chemical approach. But I vaguely remember reading from somewhere that transdermal methods (like the patch) and injection methods has more direct access to the bloodstream without having to go through the digestive tract, and hence can be administered in lower dosage than oral methods. IANADoctor, obviously.
We went through 4 different contraceptive pills, each switch taking over a month. They had obnoxious side effects: made her feel irritable, cut her sex drive down to nothing, made her feel not attracted to me, and made her feel like she "wasn't herself." It was horrible and it did test our relationship. The pill is not really an option for her, and I wish I had an option other than a vasecctomy.
(We currently use condom & foam, which ruins a lot of the spontaneity, and which isn't quite effective enough for her tastes.)