Half of the battle in many struggles is convincing the person that it’s possible to change their situation. Telling stories of people who succeeded in changing can be enough to show that the reader has some control.
Some people get stuck feeling as though everything in their life is purely the result of external factors out of their control. This leads to a sense of helplessness and no attempts to change the situation.
Some self-help books really are helpful at inspiring people to believe that they actually do have some, albeit usually not total, control over their situation. This can be enough of a nudge to get people making the changes they need to make to start moving in the right direction.
They’re not usually miracle fixes or one-shot solutions, but they can shake up the status quo and point the reader in the right direction. No self-help book would simply tell an alcoholic to “just stop drinking”, but they might provide steps for identifying triggers that lead to drinking, taking gradually more control and accountability for their consumption, and provide example success stories to show that people really can overcome alcoholism.
But I agree with the GP that strong empirical data would be useful as well.
Yes you're right, this book isn't for a serious introvert. But Keith never claims it is? Writing a book for everyone leaves you with a book that's useful to no one.
If I write a book about compilers, maybe even mention my book will make someone a better programmer, I don't expect the frontend guys to complain it's not accessible to them. I honestly struggle to understand where this mindset comes from.
At the end of the day, the point is book sales, not to actually make you successful (even if that’s the effect for some small slice of the people who actually buy it).
"You're overweight", says the Doctor, "you need to eat less and move more." "No s*t Sherlock with my IQ of 147 I'd never managed to put that one together myself," I replied.
There are definitely better ways to discuss the topic with someone you are trying to help.
The way how I meet people tend to be like, do something interesting then people contact me, simple formula, more introvert style.
The actual book focuses more on the importance of networking and relationships.
I haven’t finished reading it myself yet, so I can’t say with 100% certainty, but so far it seems pretty clear that the author’s main intent is not to suggest that you should always eat with someone else.
They'd all have the same result: works for some, not for others. Works better for those that put in the work, than for those that expect the product to do all the heavy lifting.
My issue is not that the advice they give is necessarily wrong, but it's that the format usually goes something like this:
1. Survey lots of "successful" people.
2. Identify common behaviors of these people.
3. Recommend that other people practice these behaviors.
I mean, just look at the title, "Never eat alone". I don't doubt that most successful people have a wide network and rarely eat by themselves. I just don't think that telling an introvert, or worse, someone who is painfully shy, that making them engage in a behavior that is naturally uncomfortable for them will lead to equivalent level of success. I kind of feel like it's the same as telling an alcoholic "stop drinking".