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Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by macspoofing on Monday June 07, 2021 @09:44PM (#27429714)
>The lesson here is

The lesson here is never apologize on the internet because that'll be thrown back in your face.

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by Wxc2jjJmST9XWWL on Monday June 07, 2021 @09:54PM (#27429784)
I see what you mean and there's of course some truth to it. He's stuck in a corner and no matter what he does now, some will write if off as insincere. I don't doubt that.

But besides honing communication skills and maybe tune back his ego some (for the future), do you really think the whole situation (including his apology) would not have been vastly improved by consulting with someone knowledgeable in PR?

If you think his apology sounds sincere and is worded appropriately, or his Twitter activity since the fiasco, does (or has done) him any good, then I guess we disagree on this.

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by marcinzm on Monday June 07, 2021 @09:59PM (#27429810)
Not really. Don't apologize unless you first Google "how to apologize" and are willing to mostly follow the advice you get. The problem is that to follow that advice you need to publicly accept that you were the bad guy unequivocally which many high ego people are not willing to do.
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by brhsagain on Monday June 07, 2021 @10:37PM (#27430057)
I guess my problem with this (and with the idea of the "right way" to give an apology in general) is, what if you weren't the bad guy unequivocally?

Say someone punches me and out of anger I stab him. I apologize for stabbing him. But I'm not going to say I was the bad guy unequivocally, because I wasn't. He punched me and he punched first. He's at least, like, 10% the bad guy. That doesn't mean my apology for stabbing him is insincere. I regret that part 100%. But it's not wrong for me to say "I still think he shouldn't have punched me" because otherwise it's like I'm admitting to stabbing him for no reason, which isn't true.

I get that one goal of an apology is to make amends to people who have been hurt/offended. Those people understandably want to see the apologizer grovel without hesitation. But humans have both a head and a heart, so shouldn't being accurate in one's apology be an equally important goal?

Not taking a side here either way. Just something I've noticed about the social expectations around apologies in general.

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by mynameisvlad on Monday June 07, 2021 @11:08PM (#27430215)
“I apologize for stabbing them.” Period. End of sentence.

Not “I apologize for stabbing them BUT they started it”

The latter is just trying to justify and excuse the bad behavior and save face. A true apology shows remorse and that’s it.

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by formerly_proven on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @02:24AM (#27431238)
Bingo, apologizing and then going "but <they deserved it / totally provoked me / blah blah blah>" is anything but an apology, it's just a cheap attempt at winning in the court of public opinion: "Yeah I was wrong but I was right, actually" is just a confession with some faux remorse veneer and a rationalization stapled to it.
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by howolduis on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @03:05AM (#27431437)
what if they deny that they started it?
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by stale2002 on Monday June 07, 2021 @11:39PM (#27430415)
> The latter is just trying to justify and excuse the bad behavior and save face

Ok, but in the example that was given, it does justify it, a little bit.

It doesn't justify it completely, but I would absolutely have more empathy for someone who stabbed someone out of some amount of self defense, than I would for someone who stabbed someone for no reason.

Do you really believe, that in the stabbing example, someone who stabs someone, for literally no reason at all, is exactly the same as someone who did it, in response to being assaulted first?

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by mynameisvlad on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @12:46AM (#27430723)
If your goal is to apologize, you don’t need to justify your actions. That’s what people are criticizing.
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by stale2002 on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @01:03AM (#27430814)
So then you agree or disagree, in the specific example, of someone responding in self defense, as opposed to stabbing someone for no reason?

You think these 2 actions are the same, or is it that 1 situation is probably not as bad?

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by mynameisvlad on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @01:44AM (#27431001)
This is not an argument in good faith and you know it. We aren't talking about these hypothetical situations and my opinions on them, we're talking about what makes an apology an apology.

Kindly take your sealioning elsewhere.

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by stale2002 on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @04:44PM (#27440530)
> we're talking about what makes an apology an apology.

Ok, and in the situation of the stabbing/assault, you really think it would be unreasonable for someone to point out that they got attacked first?

That does not seem unreasonable. If someone got attacked, and then responded with too much force, it would still be reasonable to point out that someone got attacked first, while also saying that attacking back with too much force was bad.

In the case of someone getting attacked first, it is both OK to point that out, and also say that the response was over the top.

If you disagree then you are basically saying that attacking someone unprovoked is equivalently bad as to attacking someone in response to an attack.

And I am not sure why you don't recognize the importance of also pointing out that an attack was in response to another attack.

That seems pretty important to point out.

It is pretty reasonable to both recognize that something went too far, while also explaining that there was a cause to it, and that it was in response to another attack.

Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by austhrow743 on Monday June 07, 2021 @10:22PM (#27429950)
Don't fake apologise with a "he started it", on or off the internet.
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by kreddor on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @04:55AM (#27432039)
It will be thrown back in your face if the apology comes out as insincere. I guess the lesson is to not apologize unless you really mean it.
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by ericlang on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @12:46PM (#27437592)
I don't like this lesson; I rather a shitty attempt at an apology than no apology at all, even if it's obvious this apology would've never came without the attention of this post blowing up.
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by Dah00n on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @04:35AM (#27431933)
Especially when you say you are sorry but do not mean it. There's no BUT in an apology but there's a BUT in his apology, sooo...
Re:Replit used legal threats to kill my open-source project by fouric on Tuesday June 08, 2021 @03:24PM (#27439642)
"Never apologize to a mob."