On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness

Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness by xiphias2 on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @08:08PM (#27044463)

There is no easy solution, but there is a simple solution (simple is often hard to do): work out 5x1.5 hours a week for a year (and then don't stop) and eat healthy.

I was incel for a long time because I believed that personality matters with dating (it matters for finding a long term partner, but not for getting laid). The ,,game'' helped incels (including me) to go even more on the wrong path.

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Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness by a_puppy on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @09:26PM (#27045023)

I appreciate you trying to help, but I don't think your advice is really applicable to me personally. My problem isn't that I'm ugly; in fact, I'm probably slightly above average attractiveness. My problem is that I have trouble forming relationships because my social skills are broken, and I have a ton of lingering trauma from being shunned by my peers for most of my childhood. (But everybody's situation is different, and your advice could be certainly be very helpful for some people!)

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Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness by xiphias2 on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @10:17PM (#27045415)

I see, I understand. I had to go through a lot of change in my personality to get from a point where I think about what the other person thinks of me to the point where I'm more concerned about whether the relationship is working. But it took about 15 years for me.

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Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness by staybailey on Wednesday May 05, 2021 @01:16AM (#27046459)

What concretely changed after a year at the gym? Like did you get far more dating app matches? Were cold approaches in a public or social setting better received? Did women start approaching you when they didn't beforehand?

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