Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness
by tomc1985 on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @04:16PM
(#27042357)
I think that varies highly between individuals. I consider myself high libido and it's something I have to deal with fairly often, otherwise it starts screwing with my faculties. And the desire has not changed much since my 20s, even if I've learned to be more comfortable in the things that intersect with it
The concept of a dead bedroom absolutely terrifies me. Like, why bother with a relationship if the one person you can have sex with doesn't ever want to have sex?
Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness
by watwut on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @05:00PM
(#27042832)
If the primary thing you want is sex, does it makes sense to tie some relationship to it? Like, in place where prostitution is legal, all you would need is either that or partner that don't mind you having extra.
Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness
by tomc1985 on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @05:02PM
(#27042858)
I wouldn't call it a primary thing, more like an essential component of a romantic relationship. Otherwise, a couple is what? Very committed best friends (I would hope)?
And on your other point, polyamory is increasingly common and a very valid way for people to approach such an inclination
what I recall from my time in my 20ies my desire to be sexually active was a lot more dominant and in charge of my higher faculties than what it is today nearing 50.
biology determines how strongly we feel we need to be with a partner I think. I accepted much more toxicity and negativity just to not be alone (allowing control by my partner over my emotions and was far more ready to compromise) than what I'm today.
Today any potential relationship needs to be solid on a mental level first before I'd even consider going further. That certainly wasn't the case in my early 20ies. Also I'm today able to spend time by myself (and not just get by but really enjoy my own company, thoughts etc ...)