Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness
by alex_smart on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @02:55PM
(#27041409)
Yup, I am from India and the experience of men from South Asian countries completely negates the argument in the original comment. Most men in these cultures have no problem finding strong friendships and family bonds, but can still struggle with loneliness and self-esteem when they fail to find intimate relationships.
Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness
by electrondood on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @02:38PM
(#27041133)
I think the criticism was that the post's author expressed being deeply unhappy with himself to begin with, and the relationship was more like a bandaid that only covered up the underlying personal issues.
Re:On incels, dead bedrooms and the hard problems of loneliness
by rini17 on Tuesday May 04, 2021 @03:07PM
(#27041564)
But it can equally well be the other way around: loneliness causes the unhappiness.
That's very unfortunate tendency how everyone here first assumes some clear-cut cause and effect, and then goes on from there to interpret someone's expressed feelings.
This is a very odd western view of things. None of my Bangladeshi aunts would find it at all controversial if a young man said he was sad because he was chronically unable to find a relationship. Humans are supposed to be in intimate relationships of some sort, for the purposes of making children. Friends and hobbies aren’t a replacement.
I find the ease with which people throw around “codependency” similarly perplexing. I don’t doubt that this situation exists among some people. But normal healthy marriage involves a large degree of codependency. The idea you need to be a standalone individual who would be happy with or without their spouse is inconsistent with how people actually work.