Even if they are completely fine with it, you can't generalise - the fact people around you don't seem to care does not mean it is a word that does not carry offence to some, or even the majority.
All swear words and insults are "just words", but their power to offend comes from context and history.
For example, the "c-word" is almost a term of affection in some groups in England and I barely consider it a swear word when in a pub in London, but is a proper pearl-clutcher in the USA and I'd never use it in front of my parents (one in California, the other in the UK). Context matters.
Well done for being curious, but don't assume your data means you have discovered a universal truth.
In polite Dutch conversation, print publications, television, radio, et cetera, the word is not bandied about, and addressing a random black person as 'neger' is certainly not recommended and will likely get you in trouble.
I haven't claimed anything like that in the slightest.
I have talked with about every 'neger' I know about the word 'neger' and none of the negers had any objections to word neger in itself. And I talked about it with random negers too.
Just don't use it as a slur. The word is not much different than 'Belg' ( Belgian ).
The only people I know who get their panties in a bunch about the word 'neger' are virtue signalling white dudes and gals ( deugers ).