There are a lot of old computers in research laboratories running Windows XP because some proprietary driver for some important piece of equipment (like a mass spectrometer) doesn't have a 64-bit version.
The closest examples so far with Linux are System76 and Purism:
https://puri.sm/products/librem-14/
This is also what makes the Surface tablets and Surface Book so great. There's a top to bottom alignment of interest in creating the best user experience and making sure the product works.
The closest thing to computing hell is when a commodity operating system is slapped onto the cheapest commodity hardware by someone who isn't concerned at all about using it, but has a list a mile long of systems to configure. There are plenty of enterprise IT-managed work laptops with no display or chipset drivers that can't hibernate, but at least they have McAfee virus scanner installed and the corporate group policy enabled.
I use my desktop OSes for my job, but could be perfectly happy with a Chromebook for most of what else I do in my life.
Yes, your type of grandma exists, but I don't know her.
Who (outside of HN readership) wants this?
I hardly doubt you are kernel developer yet you "know better". Such people always do.
By the way, Linux did well on Android because it is made there with "grandma" in mind.
Linux did well on Android because it does not suck. Mainline kernel boots hundred of models (postmarketOS). Another part mostly unchanged — browser. ChromeOS is Linux kernel and browser.
You've said hibernation is a matter ideological purity, no, it is a matter of practicality. You have to be kernel developer to understand practicality.
I've never said that.
I think this conversation is going nowhere, no reason to continue it.